Do we create our own illnesses?

Dr. Michael Crichton, author of many best-sellers and creator of the Jurassic Park trilogy, remarks in his book, Travels, that sometimes we tend to create or invent our own illnesses. I agree with him, because that's what happened to me in 1998.

I had suspected all along that I was a diabetic. I had the classic symptoms - I was always thirsty, I had to frequent the bathroom to urinate, I was always hungry, and I was dehydrating - fast. I was in denial, of course. Sick in bed because gangrene had attacked an infection on my small toe on the right foot, I refused to even see the doctor.

That is, until my wife, Julieta, threatened to call an ambulance to take me to emergency. I realized that the ambulance would charge me $500 for the trip, I forced myself to get out of bed and allow myself to be dragged, kicking and screaming to emergency. Once there, the surgeon told me that my little toe might have to be amputated. I was aghast, scared, frightened, and every other emotion you can imagine.

Did I bring this on myself? In a way, I did. Why? Because I didn't take care of my problem immediately. Instead, I allowed it to fester. My toes grew blackened, only it was no longer just my little toe. All my toes became black and useless. The doctor amputated all five toes on my right foot, after removing only the smallest one. The amputation of the little toe didn't stop the spread of gangrene to the other toes, so there you have it. I was an amputee. But, it didn't stop there. Six years later, my whole foot became blackened and rough - once again, with gangrene. This time was easier for me because it was my decision to have the entire right leg, below the knee, amputated. However, it was my decision. I superseded the doctor, who told me he was only going to clean it. But, I decided against that.

So, did I cause my own illness? I believe I did because I ignored the disease until it was too late. Amputating my leg had been my own decision, so I was able to deal with that horrible scenerio. Today, I am active, still write and still give public lectures and motivational speeches. I can't walk very far on my prosthesis because it starts to hurt. But, I can walk. I can't walk very fast, but I can walk. If I caused my own disease, then it behooves me to deal with it and to come to terms with what life has handed me. Life didn't do this to me. I did it to myself. Perhaps if other ill people come to grips with their own illness, they'll have a much better chance for recovery. Sure, my leg can't be replaced. But, I can walk with my prosthesis. I've always been an optimist. Despite my health problems, I'm still an optimist.